I’m taking a break from the posts about food and disordered thoughts and random rambling to welcome everyone to 2010, the beginning of a new decade.  What will the new year bring?  Joy and prosperity?  Death and destruction?  Inner turmoil and strife?  Probably all of the above?  (Way to end this pessimistically?)

How many tears will we cry this year?  How much anger will we feel this year?  How much sadness?  How much joy? Will we run into walls or walk a clear path?  How many walls will we have to bulldoze before our paths are clear?

Actually, all the new year brings for me is more questions.

The “Happy New Year!” at the end of a ten-second countdown does not make me feel warm and fuzzy inside, nor does it give me any sense of hope or revitalization.  It’s just another second in the endless loop of time.  My worries haven’t changed.  My fears haven’t budged.  Clean slates aren’t handed out for free. We have to earn them.  We have to work to erase—well, minimize—our shortcomings, and to solve our own problems.  One second is not enough to renew my person.  I’m only human, after all—I can’t change that easily.

My goal when deciding “New Year’s resolutions” is to make them fairly general, so that I don’t end up disappointing myself.  In later posts, I’ll reveal just what I aim for this year.  For now, I’m just listening to some calming music and savoring the first half hour of 2010, though I’m kind of numb with fatigue.  I should really go to bed soon…

Ah, and this whole blogging-past-midnight thing—I’m a crazy student, after all.  I can’t change that easily.  :)

Good night to all, and I hope that you achieve whatever you are aiming to achieve this year.  If you don’t have a resolution, that is fine—a new calendar year is not necessarily a signal to change, but rather, to reorganize our priorities and goals and to set ourselves back on track if we’ve lost our way.  I’ll wish everyone good luck, because a little good luck can help everyone!  ;)

Lots of love,
candice c:

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