I’m getting addicted to the shutter-clicky noise of the camera.  It’s just so satisfying for some reason… Every click leads to a pretty pic.  :]

Santa was super nice to me this year.  ;)  Besides the camera, I also received iPod speakers (!):

miscellaneous chocolates and candy canes

the blender from auntie and uncle :]

Godiva goodie bag (err, mug)

and best of all…

A GIFT CARD TO TRADER JOE’S!  :D  My parents know me so scarily well, I love it.

Breakfast this morning was light—another deconstructed banana hammock.  This one was topped with peanut butter, cinnamon, the last of the raisin container, pepitas, and a dollop of whipped cream.  Is it weird that for whipped cream, I only like fat-free Reddi-Whip?  I find the “regular” and “heavy” versions too cloying and “buttery”-tasting, but the fat-free kind is light and sweet.  Mmmmm.  I eat that stuff straight from the can, no shame.  ;)

This one isn’t backlit… HUGE difference.

Many of the blogs I’ve been reading up on lately have discussed topics pertaining to the lack of freedom around the holidays that one has (or should I say, does not have) when dealing with EDs or disordered eating.  A couple of years ago, I was in this trap as well.  Hell, my goal wasn’t even to enjoy the holiday, the break from school, and the wonderful company—it was to not get fat. Holiday feasting?  Nada. DE thoughts were rampant:

Eat as little as possible, so in case everyone eats a big dessert, you’ll have “spare calories” (whatever the hell that means) for it.

Do jumping jacks every night to burn off all the calories from the “feast.” What?  WHAT FEAST?!?!

I look back and I wonder how the hell I could have ever been so ridiculous.  1000 jumping jacks?  Every night?!  What kind of sane person does that?!  I think about all of the times when I could have been socializing with family I hadn’t seen in months, or enjoying some delicious holiday cooking, when instead, I was worrying about my weight, my figure, and the damn calories in the food.

Last night, I was eating some TJ’s popcorn macadamia nut clusters (something like that), which are basically clumps of caramelized popcorn and macadamia nuts.  It’s sweet, but it’s damn good.  My cousin and I ate it while watching Spiderman.  As I munched and crunched on the rich, buttery goodness, I thought about how just a couple of years ago, I would never have let myself even have a bite of the popcorn that late at night (it was around 11 PM).  Not only would I have been scared that I was going to overeat, but I would have also thought that I was going to get fat overnight from eating it.  Fat from a few measly pieces of (delicious) popcorn.  How ridiculous!  I would have pulled out the fat-free caramel popcorn that my mom also bought at TJ’s and maybe ate a few pieces of that, but last night, I was able to look at the fat-free crap, scoff at it (it tastes fake and gross), and stick my hand into the jar with the full-fat, yummy stuff.

In no way am I trying to make myself seem above all of those who are struggling with this.  Rather, I offer my full support and sympathy, because I have been through this.  I know what it’s like to have ED/DE shouting, and I know the sick feeling of being pleased by refusing food.  I know the constant worrying about weight and calories, especially around the holidays, and I remember too clearly the fear foods.  I am proud of all of the ladies who pushed through this and conquered their ED for the holidays this year, and said “screw you” by picking up a fear food and trying it.  It honestly gets less scary the more you do it.  Trust me!

Q1: What fear food(s) did you conquer this holiday?
Q2: Favorite type of popcorn? I think my answer is pretty clear, haha.
Q3: Anyone braving the hoards at the mall today for some sales? I know I’m not…
4: Don’t forget to enter Chocolate-Covered Katie’s Wild Bar giveaway!

Alright, I’m off for today.  Thank you for all of the sweet comments about the photos—I’m still practicing, and it really encouraged me! Have a wonderful day!!!


Contrary to this lovely event not too long ago, I’m being the good little hostess my mum would be proud of.  I’ve been accompanying my lil’ cousin in whatever games he wants to play all day.  We’ve been rockin’ out on the pool table (my first time = yesterday, to give you an idea of how badly he beat me.  le sigh.), computer games that I can’t play for my life, and GameCube games, which I haven’t touched in years.  Ahhh, the nostalgia.  Anyone else a video game nerd?  Anyone?  I loved this man for many, many years.  :]  The music’s pretty awesome, too—it’s on my iPod x)

It’s also pretty hilarious hearing my cousin curse at the TV screen while watching a little paper Italian plumber run around and make funny noises.  He also gets “cursed” by evil black boxes that give him new abilities, like being able to fold into a paper airplane or a sailboat.  You open the black box and scary cartoony music plays, and the controller shakes with the evil laughter… but you can’t get anywhere if you aren’t cursed.

I realize that I complain a hell of a lot of the time.  At least 50% of my life is probably going to be spent complaining (thinking pessimistically, as always), and I get through the drudgery of the school day by ranting and whining to my friends.  It’s not the best approach to life, but it does manage to relieve some of my stress and “spice” up the monotony of the day.  Whenever I feel like I’ve failed a test, I wail, “Ahhhh I faaaaailed that tessst!  :( :( :(”  Whenever I get assigned a new project or debate chart >:(, I groan and grumble and complain until I get sick of myself.  At the end of the day, when I think about how much homework I have to do, or how much I should be doing to get ahead, blah blah blah.

But only through hardship have I learned how to be persistent and efficient.  Only through being pushed to my limits has taught me the importance of moderation.  Only through being stressed to the brink of (non-literal) explosion have I learned what my limits are and how to forgive myself.  I’m viewing half of the events in my life as “curses,” when I would have probably been doomed as an impossible glutton without them.  I need to open those evil black boxes of doom, or else I’ll never get any closer to my full potential as a person.  I’ll never be able to advance through life.

Whoa.  Sorry about that long-winded tangent I went off on.  o_o  I was just typing and typing and typing, and whaddya know…


Eats have not been lacking lately.  In fact, last night, I ate a GIANT slice of Costco pumpkin pie, which was really not that tasty… and it gave me an even more giant stomachache.  :(  No dessert for me tonight.  Lunch, on the other hand, was exceptionally tasty, especially this delicious quinoa stir-fried (like fried rice) with bell peppers, green onions, chicken, and shrimp.  Topped with raisins, pine nuts, and a wonderful layer of melty shredded three-cheese blend from TJ’s.

Nutty, meaty, sweet, cheesy, and FLUFFY.  Rice may be the ultimate comfort food, but quinoa is like, the ultimate grain texture-wise.  Then again, I don’t have much experience with grains.  I still need to try couscous, millet, barley, etc…

Q1: What’s a “blessing in disguise” you’ve encountered recently?
Q2: What’s your favorite grain/what grain would you recommend I try? :]
G (for GAG :]): Are YOU a video game/Nintendo nerd, or was I just spewing nonsense this entire post?

I can’t believe my cousin is still playing.  o_o  Don’t his eyes start to hurt???  Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful evening!  I’m proud to say that I’ve only done an hour of homework today.  :]